Downton for a Day

Something short and sweet and extra posh for you all today.  This last week, I was lucky enough to be a part of a Downton Abbey themed shoot.  When asked, I jumped at the opportunity.  Just google "Downton Abbey costumes" and you'll understand why.  #vintageglamourmuch.  And, ya know, that whole lover-of-all-things-British thing may have come into play here as well.  The way I saw it, it was a pretty legitimate excuse to speak with an accent for hours on end.  Not that I need one.

As if being all fancy for a day wasn't fabulous enough, I was able to collaborate with some really amazing people.  April Benincosa started us off with some killer hair and makeup.  Watching her create those Old Hollywood style waves in my hair was really something special.  Thank you, April.  

The Grand America served as a truly gracious host, giving us a set that really drove home that elaborate English country estate feel to the shoot. Thanks to the hotel and its friendly staff!

La Fête Floral and Events was kind enough to provide us with some unique bouquets fit for a queen.  And Gossamer Vintage sent some unbelievably breathtaking vintage gowns that I was thrilled to wear and play around in for a few hours. Thanks to both of them!

Most of all, I'd like to thank D'Arcy Benincosa, who is such a vibrant soul and a deeply gifted photographer and artist.  Thank you for making it all happen and for asking me to be a part of it.  

Days like these remind me of how fortunate I am to be able to work with such talented and creative individuals.  It's inspiring.  And to top it all off, I get to take home these stunning photographs that will last a lifetime.  I'm a lucky girl.

Note: Because D'Arcy is super cool and awesome, she shoots film.  The photos included above were taken on our iPhones so we could share some shots with you all right away.  So stay tuned for more images once that film gets developed!

Much love, thanks for reading, and as always...

Haters Gonna Hate, I'm Just Gonna Shake

I'm going to admit something that I'm not particularly proud of - I used to be one of those people that really intensely disliked Taylor Swift.  She always seemed a tad self-involved and vengeful and just kind of annoying.  The cherry on top of this ice-cold hater sundae: she allegedly dated A LOT of really attractive, super talented, and undeniably desirable men.  One of whom I have been in a very serious imaginary relationship with for quite some time now (Those of you who know me won't have any trouble determining who that is).  All in all, it was just irritating and yes, I felt a little jealous.  Which is really incredibly hard to admit.

But recently, I've had a bit of a change of heart.  October 2014 marked the release of Taylor's newest album, 1989.  And I found myself singing along to her latest hits despite my greatest efforts not to.  Swiftie or not, she's one talented chick, and her new pop style album is absolutely wicked.  So, I did a little research.  Watched interviews, read stories, etc.   

What I discovered was this - I deeply relate to Taylor Swift in many ways.  She's just turned 25.  I've just turned 24.  We're both in a place where we value our independence. It seems that each of us feels deeply committed to ourselves and to our own well-being and personal growth.  Dating is not a number one priority.  Instead, we’re enjoying new friends and old.  We're also ready and willing to go to bat for things that are important to us.  Taylor boldly defends her work and eloquently dismisses accusations that her music is whiny or overdramatic as sexist and untrue.  “No one says that about Ed Sheeran.  No one says that about Bruno Mars.  They are all writing songs about their exes and their current girlfriends, their love life, and no one raises a red flag there.” Well said, girlfriend.  And on a smaller note, we both enjoy a warm and gooey batch of cookies and a good red lipstick.  I could get down with that.

An Instagram of mine from approximately 31 weeks ago.  My love of cookies is not a new thing.  Good ole' chocolate chip.

An Instagram of Taylor's from approximately 14 weeks ago.  Her love of cookies, also not new.

Chai sugar cookies with eggnog icing.  Ummm...yum. Major points for creativity here.

Me rocking that "red lip, classic" thing that she likes...

Taylor Swift is not perfect.  I am not perfect.  No one is perfect.  Taylor Swift has certainly made mistakes.  She’s said some things and done some things that perhaps weren't really all that smart.  But for goodness sakes, who hasn't in their younger years?  The difference between her and the rest of us is that Taylor had to make those mistakes with the whole world watching.  And oftentimes, she isn't given the luxury of moving forward from them as those of us not living in the public eye can.  That stupid thing you said to your ex?  Well it just withers away with the passing time.  For Taylor?  It’s forever recorded in the annals of YouTube history.  That time you tripped and fell and it was like, super embarrassing?  Try doing it on stage in front of thousands of people.  That guy you broke up with years ago?  He’s just a part of the past.  For Taylor?  There’s a new gossipy headline to read every morning.  I know if I were under that amount of scrutiny, I’d lose my sanity and promptly crawl into a hole somewhere. 

But here’s what really changed my perspective.  In a recent interview she did with Rolling Stone (you can find it here), T-Swift said this about her band of outrageously beautiful, successful, driven and talented female bffs.  "It's like this blazing bonfire.  You can either be afraid of it because it's so powerful and strong, or you can go stand near it, because it's fun and it makes you brighter."  That triple scoop hater sundae I mentioned earlier?  Reading this made it melt away in seconds.  What a show of strength, I thought.  Instead of feeling intimidated or threatened by these equally beautiful and gifted women, she gravitates toward them, in search of only friendship.  She does not feel that their achievements or talents belittle her own.  Instead, they lift her up and inspire her.  I really appreciated this side of her that I’d never seen.  Perhaps it wasn’t there before.  Or maybe I just wasn’t looking for it.  I can’t really give you an answer on that one, but I do know that I’m glad I found it.

I don't know Taylor and I most likely will never know her.  I do not dislike her.  I also do not idolize her.  But I do respect her a great deal.  I admire her bravery and her confidence.  I admire her for the way she handles her uber celebrity status and her overwhelmingly unprivate lifestyle.  It can't be easy.  But her fire, it just keeps on blazing.  So instead of shying away from it, I'm gonna walk my ass over to it and sit the fuck down for a little while.  And while I'm there, I'll enjoy the warmth, soak in all the light, and let those raging flames make my own fire burn that much brighter.

Much love, thanks for reading, and as always… 

A Year In Review

A lot happened this year.

I finished my graduate program and received my Masters Degree.  

Got my first big girl job with a salary and benefits and real responsibilities.  I visited Washington D.C. for the very first time.  Saw the capitol building, met the Senate majority leader, went to brunch with an old friend (Hi Leah!), toured countless museums, and walked till I thought my feet would fall off. 

I saw Wicked for the second time…and it was awesome.  Magical even ;)  I began a really intense fitness regimen with my Daddy.  I worked with some truly gifted photographers, stylists, and hair and makeup artists.  

I walked in my first runway show.  

I spent another year at home with my family.  We’re closer than ever and I feel grateful for the three of them every day of my life. I spent time with old friends...

And new...

I started this blog...

2014, you were really great.  I’ll look back on you fondly. But I can’t help but feel excited by the idea of a brand new year full of possibilities.  I don’t know what’s in store.  And for the first time in my life, that doesn’t scare me. I’m ready for the unknown.  I’m ready for twists and turns and ups and downs.  I am ready to stop just ogling those Audreams.  I’m ready to go live them.  Are you…?

Happy New Year Audreamers!  Here’s to 2015! 

Much love, thanks for reading, and as always…

Movie Magic

Us Arburns, we’re a movie kind of family.  On an otherwise uneventful evening, my Mom, Dad, little brother and I will find out what’s playing, pick a showtime, and see a movie.  It’s just what we do.  And growing up, I always remember watching the Golden Globes, the Screen Actors Guild Awards, and of course, the Oscars.  I was raised to appreciate the art of film.  And I still do.  A great deal. 

This holiday season, I’ve seen lots; The Hobbit, Exodus, The Interview (take that North Korea!), and just last night, the Imitation Game.  And frankly, I think this lot perfectly demonstrates why movies are truly magical things.  Movies can bring an epic novel to life, or retell a story that’s been told a thousand times over.  Movies can make you giggle and guffaw until your sides ache.  Movies can bring light to a person or a story or an event that deserves to be seen but hasn’t yet been given any such opportunity.  Movies can make your heart ache.  Movies can make your soul sing.  Movies can help us to see what we want from life, or what we don’t want.  Movies can change perspectives or solidify them. Movies can start thought provoking discussions, build friendships and fandoms, or create complete and total pandemonium.  Movies shape culture.  Movies captivate and inspire.  Movies creep their way into our everyday conversations without a second thought.  Ever shouted, “I’m king of the world!” when you felt extra psyched?  Ever muttered, “There’s no place like home,” after returning from a long absence?  Ever shown off a new toy or gadget with a “Say hello to my little friend?”  Ever used, “Houston, we have a problem,” to indicate a slight, or massive, error in judgment?  Ever wished someone luck with a, “May the force be with you?”  Movies are all around us. Movies are walking, talking, living, breathing art that seep into us and never quite leave.

I love the movies.  And I can tell you right now without a shred of doubt that film will be something I write about frequently.  After all, it was indeed a movie that brought Audrey Hepburn into my life.  My Fair Lady.  Age five.  And it was as she walked down a flight of stairs in a sparkling floor length gown, her hair elegantly pinned up and a dazzling choker clinging to her long slender neck, that I fell in love with her.  I wanted to be her.  I knew that I wanted to walk through life as gracefully and beautifully as she did gliding down those stairs.  So in that moment, in that scene, in that split second, an Audream was born.  MAGIC.  Movie Magic...

So next time you’re at a loss for what to do with your evening, consider making your way down to the nearest cinema.  Or curl up on your couch, find something on Netflix, or pop an old favorite into your DVD player.  Bring a little magic into your life. 

Much love, thanks for reading, and as always…

To Walk Or Not To Walk?

September 23, 2014

Fear is powerful and intense and debilitating.  Fear is capable of completely consuming you to the point where you feel like you can't move or speak or breath. When I was given the opportunity to walk in VOX Magazine's runway show, I felt all of that and then some. I was completely and utterly overwhelmed by the tummy twisting, vomit inducing sensation that ensued shortly after I received the invitation.  My initial instinct was to say no.  I had never walked in a show before.  I didn't know how to walk a runway.  I didn't even know what I would be wearing.  Would they put me in insanely high heels that robbed me of my ability to walk and I would instead have to wobble awkwardly? Would I trip or stumble or, God forbid, fall? Would they laugh at me? Would the onlookers think to themselves, "What's she doing here?  She clearly doesn't know what she's doing?"  Would I disappoint the person who asked me to be a part of the show?  The person who owned and produced the magazine? Would I make a complete and utter fool of myself? So many jumbled thoughts flew through my brain and my stomach churned uncomfortably.  All I wanted was to make it all stop.   The paralyzing fear I felt made we want to run away and cry and scream for my mommy.  

And I did actually.  Perhaps not in such dramatic fashion, but I did excuse myself from my desk at work and call my mother.  I gave her a million reasons why I should decline the invitation.  That there was an event at work that day.  That I would surely be letting down my coworkers if I left early for the call time.  That I knew nothing about the magazine itself.  That I wasn't sure if my agency would buy into the idea or not.  And my patient, wonderful mother walked me through each and every one of those excuses until finally she asked me, "Amy, are you just not wanting to do this?  Are you scared to do it?"  My throat clenched and tears bubbled up and out of my eyes in seconds.  "Yes," I mumbled, "Yes I am"

Fear is a perfectly natural emotion to experience, and a useful one at that.  It's instinct, it's human nature, it's our body's way of telling us that something isn't right.  After spending a great deal of time browsing the internet (probably too much time), I came across a small passage on Psychology Today's website that really struck a cord.  

Fear is a vital response to physical and emotional danger—if we didn't feel it, we couldn't protect ourselves from legitimate threats. 

A legitimate threat.  What legitimate threat could possibly present itself at a fashion show?  Would starved and rabid hyenas line the runway eagerly awaiting the first model to appear?  Probably not.  Would the clothes I was wearing cause me to break out into menacing hives that lit my skin on fire?  Again, probably not. In truth, there was no legitimate threat.  The danger I felt was entirely invented by my imagination.  Bitch.

In reality, this was a truly incredible opportunity.  At 5'7, I am itty bitty in the modeling world and runway was something I was quickly told would never happen.  But here it was, a chance to do just that.  Also, there was a good chance that lots of folks in the fashion industry of Salt Lake City would be there.  Therefore, this was a chance for exposure and networking.   And in truth, this was something that deep down I had always wanted to try.  I used to watch the women that graced the runways of New York and London Fashion Week, the angels that pranced along in Victoria Secret's annual televised show and think about how glamorous and powerful and beautiful they must have felt.  This was my chance to try it on for size.  

So to address my original question to walk or not to walk?  Was I going to let fear affect my decision making process?  No.  Actually, fuck no.  Sorry kids, but take note. When life presents you with an opportunity, you walk god dammit.  You walk with your head held high and your game face on.  You embrace the uncertainty along with the opportunity and put one foot in front of the other.  

Unless of course the runway is lined with ravenous hyenas...then you might wanna rethink things ;)

----------

That's what I wrote three months ago, pre show. You'll all be happy to know that I was not in fact devoured by ravenous hyenas, nor did I spontaneously combust due to a severe rash.  None of those things happened.  I actually had a really wonderful time and met a lot of super fabulous people.  And after all was said and done I felt an immense amount of pride in knowing that I had put myself out there, overcome my fears, and allowed myself to have this really unique experience.  Here's a few pics that I was lucky enough to get my hands on.

I'll end by saying this...next time a really great kinda scary opportunity presents itself to you, my little Audreamers, do yourself a big big favor and seize it.  Strut your stuff.  Walk that walk.  And don't let anyone, including yourself, tell you you can't.

A huge thank you again to VOX Magazine and Dani Braun for inviting me to be a part of all that magic.  Very grateful for the opportunity.

Much love, thanks for reading, and as always...

I'm No Computer Genius

Let’s just call this an Author’s Note.  I am many things.  Tech savvy is not one of them.  Here's a little clip that I'd say solidifies that claim.

Pretty convincing wouldn't you say? It gets better.  It took me three, count em, THREE days to figure out how to post that itty bitty thirty seconds worth of video footage.  It's sad really.  So considering that I am ill equipped to operate an iPhone camera and largely incapable of uploading a video, it will come as no surprise to you that designing this blog was like pulling teeth. I would often find myself spending twenty minutes just trying to figure out how to adjust post title colors. My twenty first minute would then be spent yelling profanities at my computer screen and resisting the urge to throw it off of my lap and into the nearest wall. It’s a miracle my cute little MacBook Air is still intact to be honest.  But I digress.  While struggling through the formatting of the blog itself, I continued writing.  It would remind me of why I wanted to start a blog.  It reminded me why I was spending all of this time doing something that made me want to rip out my hair out from the root.  It reminded me that I love to write and that I want to share my writing with all of you.  So here’s the moral of the story – some of my posts were written well before I launched the blog and often discuss things that didn’t happen all too recently.  But I’ll always date them and give you a little bit of a heads up to avoid any confusion.  Glad we cleared that all up.

Keep your eye out for one such post on Sunday where I'll share with you what went through my crazy brain back in September when I was asked to walk in my first ever runway show [insert scaredy face emoji here].

And now a word, or a face I should say, from our star that I think perfectly summarizes the theme of this particular piece.

Much love, thanks for reading, and as always...

What Is An Audream?

At its simplest, an Audream is two words squished together to make one.  An ‘Audrey’ plus a ‘dream’ equals an ‘Audream.’  Duh? 

But an Audream is so much more than a compilation of words.  It’s something to aspire to, it’s a hope for the future, it’s a dream of Audrey sized proportions.  Audrey, as we all know, was and continues to be a symbol of beauty, elegance, and class.  She has lived on as a style icon for generations.  She is timeless.  And, for those of you that haven’t picked up on this quite yet,  I have a small (okay, not so small) obsession with Ms. Hepburn.  In fact, a small (okay, again, not so small) corner of my room is entirely dedicated to her.  This shrine, if you will, is littered with hats and gloves, countless little collectibles with Audrey’s flawless face and figure, and a rather impressive collection of Tiffany boxes.  - Brief interjection… NEVER throw away a Tiffany box.  The packaging is half the fun ;) –

I’ve been told a few times before that I physically resemble Audrey.  You can be the judge of that.  

And very recently, I became aware of the similarities in our names.  Amy, Audrey.  Arburn, Hepburn.  Considering the fact that I’ve adored her for as long as I can remember, I found it strange that I’ve never noticed this before.  Beyond our supposed similarities in appearance and our obvious similarities in name, I’ve felt a strong connection to her in other ways.  She was a philanthropist.  A dedicated humanitarian.  A woman who understood that there was more to life than little black dresses and twinkling tiaras.  This, in my mind, is what makes Audrey so exceptional.  She was beautiful and stylish and glamorous.  But she was also a generous human being who worked fiercely and passionately to make the world a better place, and I admire her for that more than I can say.

I don’t claim to be the next Audrey.  That would just be silly, and untrue, and...well...stupid.  She’s a once in a many, many lifetimes kind of woman.  But I do aspire to live my life in a similar fashion.  She was beautiful, bold, talented, fashionable, charitable, humble, thoughtful, eloquent, and unselfish. 

This blog serves as the first step of a long journey.  A journey to follow and live out my Audreams.  So here I am, inviting you to be a part of it.  Maybe along the way, you’ll find a few Audreams of your own.   

Much love, thanks for reading, and as always...